SEMANTIC DILEMMAS:

Years ago I began writing up a number of linguistic oddities, taking them in the order they happened to strike. These writings turned into an opinionated project on the nature of language, and covered many topics ranging from a case for the Oxford comma to the similarities of language theory and jazz theory. As I discovered much of this work was rehashing territory well represented by others, I whittled the text until three uncommon claims of linguistic abnormality were left. I suspect only The Pre Dilemma has been touched upon outside of my efforts, whereas The Half Dilemma and The Fresh Dilemma are faithful to the sort of obsessive thought process I apply to life's common occurrences.

The Pre Dilemma
In this examination we'll look at the prefix 'pre' and name the many interpretations it has attained in its recent use history. 'Pre' shows up in the movie theater, in the kitchen, and in those pesky credit card mailings. Each usage is distinct—a particular sort of intepretation brought forward by statements of various intent—comprising a good example of how simple parts of grammar slip into new contrivances in spite of our best intentions to be understood.

You'll think it's bogus, until the subject of money comes up

The Half Dilemma
Perhaps you've heard it before, language doesn't function the same way as math. But does that ever make a difference in the way we communicate? Consider the exit sign: West Yarmouth 1 ½ miles. Have you ever thought that maybe the sign should read "1 ½ mile" instead? The 's' might have sneaked onto the end of 'mile' just as a matter of lyrical facility, as it seems to sound more pleasant to the ear, but a semantic dilemma remains. Read more! Amaze your friends!

Dictionaries don't always sing in harmony

The Fresh Dilemma
The dilemma that started it all... Something odd struck me about the proliferation of freshly baked pizza, and I found myself wondering whether a pizza could be freshly baked. After years of research and conversation, I have a diplomatic answer. The rub points to grammatical operations that occur without much respect for rationality, creating words that sound right, but might not mean what people think they do.